“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts,” said Winston Churchill. Yet for many athletes and high performers, bouncing back isn’t simply a matter of mindset—it’s a biological and psychological reset. Research shows that the body stores emotional experiences, with trauma impacting everything from muscle tension to sleep quality. So what happens when a major setback leaves more than just a dent in your confidence? In this expert roundup, we explore how professionals across fields help individuals process defeat, recalibrate their nervous systems, and rebuild the drive to compete—not through willpower alone, but with understanding.
Content Advisory: This article discusses trauma, relapse, mental health, and therapeutic interventions used in athletic and performance recovery. The perspectives shared are those of the individual contributors and are not intended as medical or psychological advice. Please consult a qualified professional for personal support. All accounts are anonymised and illustrative.
Body Stores Trauma: Process Defeat Before Pushing Forward
I work with athletes dealing with trauma and addiction, and the biggest mistake I see after major setbacks is trying to mentally “push through” without addressing what your body is storing. Your nervous system holds onto that defeat, and it’ll sabotage your comeback if you don’t process it somatically.
I had a client who was a competitive swimmer who relapsed into substance abuse after missing Olympic trials. We used DBT techniques to help her recognize that her body was stuck in a trauma response from that loss. Instead of just talk therapy, we incorporated breathing exercises and mindfulness to literally reset her nervous system before she could mentally refocus.
The breakthrough came when she stopped treating her setback as something to overcome and started seeing it as information about her attachment to outcome versus process. We worked on separating her identity from her performance results. She learned that her drive was actually stronger when it came from self-compassion rather than self-punishment.
Most athletes I work with find their setbacks were highlighting unhealthy patterns they couldn’t see during their peak performance. The body keeps the score of every defeat, but it also remembers every comeback when you give it the right therapeutic tools to process both.
Holly Gedwed, Owner, Southlake Integrative Counseling and Wellness
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Master Small Controls to Rebuild Athletic Confidence
Through years of working with elite athletes—from Spartans to Professional Skiers to Ninja Warriors—I’ve noticed the ones who bounce back fastest treat setbacks like they’re learning proper taping technique. When you first try to tear athletic tape, it twists and bunches up because your technique is off, not because you’re weak.
The athletes who recover quickest from major losses focus on one fundamental thing they can control and master it completely. I watched a legendary ice climber who fell during a crucial ascent spend the next month perfecting how he applied grip tape to his gear. Sounds minor, but that daily ritual of controlling something small rebuilt his confidence in controlling bigger things.
What separates comeback athletes from those who spiral is they physically anchor their recovery process. One Professional Skier I worked with started using our POLAR cooling wrap after every training session, win or lose. The 60+ minutes of cooling sensation became his reset ritual—his body learned to associate that consistent recovery with moving forward, not dwelling on the past.
The drive returns when you stop trying to think your way out of disappointment and start building it back through your hands. Every time you properly apply tape, dial in your recovery routine, or nail a technique you’ve practiced 100 times, you’re proving to yourself that you can still execute when it matters.
Josh Key, Inside Sales Specialist, Shield Health & Fitness
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EMDR Releases Stored Trauma in Athletes’ Bodies
As an EMDR therapist working with performance anxiety, I’ve helped athletes process the trauma that major losses create in their bodies and minds. Most people don’t realize that devastating setbacks literally get stored in your nervous system—your body stays in fight-or-flight mode, making it nearly impossible to perform at your peak again.
I had one client who couldn’t even step onto the field after a crushing championship loss because his body would physically freeze up. We used EMDR to reprocess that traumatic memory, and within three intensive sessions, he was able to separate the emotional charge from the actual event. His body stopped treating every competition like a threat to his survival.
The athletes who maintain their drive fastest are those who address the somatic impact of failure, not just the mental game. Your shoulders, neck, and gut literally hold onto that defeat—chronic tension, digestive issues, and sleep problems are your body’s way of protecting you from future “danger.” When we release that stored trauma through bilateral stimulation, the drive naturally returns because your nervous system isn’t constantly bracing for another catastrophe.
I use EMDR intensives specifically for this because traditional weekly therapy takes too long when you’re in competitive season. Three days of concentrated trauma processing can reset your entire relationship with setbacks, turning them from identity-crushing events into just data points for improvement.
Linda Kocieniewski, Psychotherapist, Linda Kocieniewski Therapy
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Separate Athletic Identity From Core Self-Worth
As a trauma therapist who’s worked with competitive teens and young adults, I’ve seen how major losses literally rewire our sense of identity. Athletes often get stuck because they’re trying to “push through” when they actually need to process what that setback meant about their worth as a person.
I had a teenage client who quit basketball entirely after losing a scholarship opportunity due to an injury. Through our work together, we finded she wasn’t just grieving the loss—she was terrified of trying again because failing felt like proof she wasn’t “good enough” as a human being. We used IFS (Internal Family Systems) to separate her athlete identity from her core self-worth.
The key is recognizing that your brain goes through actual grief stages after major setbacks—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, then acceptance. Most athletes try to skip straight to motivation without honoring this process. When you allow yourself to feel angry about the loss for a specific period, then consciously choose what wisdom to carry forward, your drive returns naturally instead of being forced.
What I tell my clients is to ask themselves: “What did this setback teach me that I want to keep, and what story about myself do I need to release?” The athletes who bounce back fastest are those who can extract the lesson without carrying the identity wound forward into their next competition.
Erinn Everhart, Owner, Every Heart Dreams Counseling
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Feel, Learn, Set Goals: The Recovery Path
After a major setback, I first allow myself to feel the frustration and disappointment—bottling it up never helps. Then, I take time to reflect on what went wrong and what I can learn from it. This helps me shift my focus from the loss to how I can improve. I set small, achievable goals to get back on track—whether it’s improving a specific skill or refining my strategy. I also remind myself why I compete in the first place—my passion for the sport and the challenge it brings. Surrounding myself with a supportive team and coaches helps me regain perspective and keeps me accountable. By focusing on what I can control and making steady progress, I regain the drive to compete at my best. Every setback is just a step toward the next breakthrough.
Nikita Sherbina, Co-Founder & CEO, AIScreen
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One Day to Feel, One Goal to Fix
After a tough loss on the pitch, I give myself a day to feel it. There’s no pretending it didn’t matter. Then I break it down: what did I do well, what fell apart, what can I control next match?
From there, I set one short-term goal: tighten my first touch, win more 50/50s, improve communication. Something specific I can train toward that week.
Playing soccer isn’t just about skill. It’s about bounce-back. The hunger to compete doesn’t go away after a loss. If anything, it sharpens.
Temmo Kinoshita, Co-Founder, Lindenwood Marketing
Have Your Say
- How do you personally bounce back from setbacks?
- Have you noticed your body reacting to stress after a major disappointment?
- What strategies have helped you reconnect with your motivation?
Alignment with the UN SDGs
- 🧠 Promotes mental wellbeing and resilience (SDG 3)
- 📚 Shares inclusive, evidence-based recovery strategies (SDG 4)
- 🤝 Encourages reduced inequalities in access to care (SDG 10)
Note: The views and opinions expressed in the content provided on this page are those of the individual authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any organizations mentioned. The information provided is for educational and informational purposes only and should not be interpreted as professional advice. Readers should consult with relevant experts or professionals for guidance specific to their circumstances. The examples used are for illustrative purposes and results may vary depending on various factors. Any external links provided are for convenience, and we do not endorse or take responsibility for the content, products, or services available through these links.
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